I Can’t Wait Til I Go to Hikeschool, Billy

Over the months of May and June, I’ve been to a number of high school and college graduations. And while I gave my whole-hearted ‘Congratulations!’ and ‘Best Wishes,’ I was unable to express the one true piece of wisdom I had for these graduates, which was this:

This is what I want to do to anyone embarking on their freshman year of college. But I can’t because throttling people until their cheeks jiggle isn’t usually appropriate. But Billy is right. Stay in school. Stay as long as you can. Cherish it. Because real life? Sucks. Don’t believe me, just look at this graph of Excitement over Time and draw your own conclusions.