In Support of Moderate Exercise, Occasionally

I always thought the reason I couldn’t stick to a consistent exercise schedule was because I am a lazy shit with no willpower. But now I’m thinking it’s because the best day of any workout stretch is the first one. When you haven’t done squat for a while, whatever you do on your first day back is going to leave you sore. Not so sore you cant sit down on the toilet – you always ease into it on your first day back with a good 7-12 minutes of effort. That’s enough to leave you with the oh-so-delicious type of sore. The “I didn’t know these muscles existed” type of sore. The type of sore that has you walking around feeling like every muscle in your body is tight. And when you feel like every muscle in your body is tight, you also feel like you LOOK like every muscle in your body is tight. So even though you are the same sack of shit you were yesterday, you are strutting around like a fucking fitness model whose ass has its own Instagram account. Assuming you don’t pass any mirrors you start to think, “Wow, am I just the fittest, sexiest bitch on earth? Yeah, I think I am. Cool.” And who doesn’t want to feel like that for just 7-12 minutes of work. It’s a bargain! Can’t beat it. And unless you actually put in the work to become a fitness model, you can’t maintain that feeling. So, it’s probably best to stop there and pick it up again in a few months, right?

2 thoughts on “In Support of Moderate Exercise, Occasionally

  1. I came for the witty words, most notably your peerless, groundbreaking research into the death of civility in America’s office bathrooms. As an added bonus, I clicked on your Tumblr link, and was greeted by your alt-porn Tumblr account. Positioning yourself as the Bella Thorne of WordPress is canny and inspiring, keep up the good work!

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