Idiot of the Week: The Perfect Crime

Idiot of the Week is brought to us today by my good friend N.M., who recently had his credit card information stolen:

Someone stole my account information (he obviously didn’t realize I’m poor) two days ago, and tried to ring up a bunch of shit.   He was probably so embarrassed when the card kept getting declined (because it was already maxed out).  I hope the line behind him was long.  I pictured him fumbling through his wallet and explaining to the cashier how this never happens and he must have forgotten to pay his bill – all while nervously glancing over his shoulder at the increasingly long and angry line dying for their lattes.  Haha what a fool.  My dad even felt bad for him, and I quote, “He picked the worst person in the world to rob.”  I can think of worse people (I’ve seen Slum Dog Millionaire), but I laughed with him.

I even wrote a review for one of the places he went:


Since this thief didn’t steal N.M.’s actual credit cards, just the numbers, I am wondering how he paid for his dinner at a restaurant like this. Did he write the numbers down on a scrap of paper and hand them to the waiter when the check came? That is usually a red flag…but hey for a 23% tip maybe I’d look the other way too.

8 thoughts on “Idiot of the Week: The Perfect Crime

  1. Maybe the guy (or girl? Why do we always assume it’s a guy? That’s just sexist! But c’mon. We all know it was a guy) made his own Mastercard or Visa with paper, crayons and scissors. Except he is a lousy speller and wrote: Mastir Card (or Veesa) and that tipped the waitress off … who was an idiot too … but then she saw the tip and said nothing.

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