My friends are very opinionated about my relationship status, and tell me that I am just not ‘putting myself out there’ enough. And they have a point. I do acknowledge that I can’t meet anyone sitting in my room knitting, which is how I spend most of my free time. If I did meet someone in my room, that would mean he was a home intruder and that is not really my type. So they are right, I need to get out more. I know I need to work on this so I assign myself homework: do something in public at least once each weekend. But all I can ever come up with is going to Chipotle or Target.

I mean, what else is there to do? Given my antisocial leanings, there just aren’t that many ‘out there’s’ to put myself in. I go to work, I come home. I don’t like going ‘out there’ I like being ‘in here.’ And I’d like to find someone to be ‘in here’ with me but I’d have to go ‘out there’ to find him. But the irony is the kind of guy who would be happy staying ‘in here’ isn’t going to be ‘out there’ because he is probably ‘in here’ at his own house.  So I don’t need to go ‘out there,’ what I need to do is go door to door on Saturday nights peeking into windows to see who is in their sweats watching TV on the couch. Then the obvious challenge is going from Peeping Tom to Girlfriend.